NFL Week 1

Whammy! It’s the moment all of us have been waiting on, opening week of the NFL. Everybody has a chance to see your team make the playoffs and possibly the Super Bowl. Well for you Lions fans, your team is still mathematically alive anyway. There are many, many questions that need answered during the upcoming season, as always. Will the rookies Sanchez, Stafford, or Knowshon make any impact? Lots of big names changed teams over the summer. Do Favre, Cutler, or T.O. have what it takes make their new teams title contenders? Or what about the injury bug? How did Carson Palmer or Brady heal up during the off season? And that finally brings us to Vick. Will the Eagles play “Who let the Dogs out?” during their games? Tasteless I know.

Week 1 will kick off in a few short hours and the NFL schedulers gave up a dandy to open with. The Titans are visiting Heinz Field, where LenDale White stomped on the Terrible Towel last year and I believe it was Jevon Kearse, who acted like he was blowing his nose on that precious little towel. Expect a fired up crowd and a great game. Rashard Mendenhall should see some quality minutes and he might start pushing Willie Parker for the stating job. It's only a matter of time. I have the Steelers winning a close battle.

Sunday includes some nice divisional battles and matchups of potential playoff teams. A couple of games that I find interesting. Arizona hosts the Niners. Every year San Fran looks like they have a decent team and every year they disappoint. This could be the year. Gore should be a monster if he can stay healthy. Hopefully Crabtree will grow up and sign. Arizona and Kurt Warner have tons of pressure on them to repeat last year's performance. Who doesn’t like to watch Fitzgerald? That dude catches everything thrown his way. Add in Beanie Wells. My opinion is that Warner goes down early, or plays like shit, and Matt Leinart leads the Cards to a comeback victory.

The other can't miss game is the Bears and Packers. Some future superstars get to showcase their talents. Jay Cutler reminds me of Jim McMahon from the old days. Arrogant, pompous, and good. Personally, I think Cutler is a huge cry baby and I love to route against that asshole; but now that he’s a Bear, Cutler probably is just misunderstood. I have to like that schmoe now. Look for a shootout with Rogers, Jennings, and Forte all having big games. The Packers pull away at the end, thanks in part to numerous Cutler interceptions.

The other winners on Sunday will include the Dolphins, Vikings, Colts, Saints, Bucs, Eagles, Ravens, Jets, Giants, and Seahawks. The Bengals are lead to victory by Mr. Media Slore, Chad Ochocinco, who then gets fined for violating the dress code by dying his arm hair orange.

I just noticed we also get the double dip for Monday Night Football. Oh, wait, one game has the Raiders in it. New England and San Diego pick up wins on Monday.

Editor's Note. Wanted to add a couple things. That was the best Vick joke you could come up with, Champ? Weak buddy, pretty weak. What makes the NFL fun is that you never know what a team has at the beginning. Some team always comes out of nowhere to surprise folks. This year its San Francisco. By the way, forget about the punting crisis in the Cowboy's new stadium, they have bigger problems. What is a slore? The Leinenkugel's Lock of the week. Ben did it. Notice he's growing his hair out. Starting to get those little curls in the back. Stubble. He reminds me of Luke Duke. And he was always up to no good. Enjoy the games.